You are reading Part Three of the mini-series subtitled “Conquering Fear.”
City Island, Yankee Stadium, Botanical Gardens, and Little Italy where my husband grew up. Where else but The Bronx?! Once I overcame the paralyzing fear I first felt upon moving to New York, I learned to love the city! What a fascinating place to live, with its multitude of shops, languages, ethnic groups, and interesting neighborhoods!
Never again afraid!
And I was certain that I would never again be afraid there. Until the day I drove our friend Charlie and his friends to the airport…
No problem getting there. Charlie was a great guide, if a poor passenger! I don’t know if, never having learned to drive he was just nervous, or what.
But he constantly prayed for God’s protection. Even before the car was in motion! “Lord, be with us and keep us safe.” And then at every intersection, or each time I changed lanes! “Oh Father, protect us!” Whenever a pedestrian crossed the street. And even when I put my blinkers on! “Jesus, have mercy on us!”
“Either he thinks I’m the world’s worst driver ever,” I thought. “Or this guy’s a nervous wreck! Maybe they should have just taken a train or taxi. Because at this rate, he’ll have a heart attack!”
But once I got to know him better, I understood that was just Charlie’s way. And not only did he get us to the airport, but he became one of those special friends who remains a lifelong blessing.
But the return trip? That was another story! Despite Charlie’s protests, I dropped him at his house before heading home. “Let me come along,” he insisted. “Your husband can take me home later.”
You’ll get lost!
He insisted that I would get lost. While I equally insisted, “No, no, it’s fine,” I insisted. “I know my way around now!” But if only I had listened! Because Charlie knew what I didn’t yet understand. It was far too easy for a greenhorn like me to get lost in the Big Apple!
I don’t know how long I drove in circles, hoping to come upon something familiar. And though not a seasoned New Yorker, I knew I’d ended up in a pretty rough neighborhood. I did at least have sense enough to stay in the car. But oh, how I hoped to find a familiar street! Or even a police station, before running out of gas!
I prayed silently, not wanting to alarm the kids who’d grown very quiet in the back seat. (Those were pre-cellphone days!) Then I heard my son whisper: “We’re lost. She keeps going around in circles!” To which his sister replied “I know, and she’s too afraid to ask directions.” So much for my well-kept secrets! They were right.
Afraid – again.
Yes, I was afraid, again! But being lost, at night, in such a huge metropolis is a terrifying experience. And all I could think about was getting home.
I, who had been so sure of never again being afraid in New York! I even found myself wishing that Charlie was still there to pray at every corner! I sure could have used some of his praying then!
I did eventually find a familiar street and made my way home. And even though I knew that the Lord is always with me, I was grateful to never again travel alone at night in the Big Apple. That evening of anxiety, however, taught me an important lesson.
Spiritual lessons need repeating
When we think we’ve learned a spiritual lesson, we’ve really only finished the first course. And having already completed Conquering Fear 101 and 102, I was starting to wonder how many courses there were! I know now that we when face the same troubles or battles again, our past victories make them easier. Because faith grows by being exercised. And the Lord was teaching me that he will always be my strength, in any situation. Helping me conquer fear.
Not that we are able to vanquish all giants. Some problems don’t go away. But even in those situations the Lord gives us the strength to face them. And in the end, come out of the battle stronger and more sure of him.
It doesn’t matter what kind of frightening situation you may face: moving to a new area, a new job, or waiting to hear back on a medical exam. The Lord can help you face that giant head on. And that in and of itself is a real victory!
Images are my own.