4 Helps for Dealing with the Unwanted

How can we handle the unwanted? Unwanted people and events? The happenings none of us would ever want in our lives? Abandonment, separation, division? Those crushing and heartbreaking events which threaten to drain our life’s blood away?

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.

James 1:12 ESV

We’re going through such a time right now, and this verse blessed my heart so much. Because it reminded me that whatever we’re going through, it too shall pass. And that God is with us, helping us persevere and overcome in him.

We all go through such things, don’t we? Our hearts ache when we (or loved ones) go through heartbreaking circumstances. It hurts when social media gets used as a tool of gossip and maligning. It’s painful when friends reject us, devasting when loved ones walk out. And it’s often difficult to know how we should handle things that are deliberately intended to hurt, destroy, and harm.

So how can we handle such unwanted things?

4 Helps for Dealing the Unwanted:

1. Strive to behave as Christ would.

Try to do as Christ would, both in what you say and write, especially in these days of social media. While also trying to forgive others for their lack of love or ignorance. Ask the Lord to grant you the grace, wisdom, and strength to respond in love or remain silent. And ask him to use you as an instrument of peace and restoration- not division.

2. Take protective measures.

When your social circle or social media begins to fill with negativity or untrue gossip, it’s probably best to pull back. Paul encourages us to think on whatever is true and good. Doing otherwise will only pull us down, harm our faith, and could cause us to enter the evil cycle of gossip, rejecting others, or even harming them. So remove yourself from any circumstance that places you in harm’s way, especially when you’re a target of unkindness.

3. Remember that this too shall pass.

It was this part of the verse which really helped me get things into perspective. “…for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life.” We only receive the crown of life once we’ve passed into eternity. Where both our current trial, and all trials, will be ended.

This too shall pass. All we have to do is remain firm in the Lord. Keep clinging to him, trying to do right, and trust him to work all things out. Not that things will always become easy – they often don’t. But he knows best.

Through the Lord’s grace, Hubby and I never stopped believing that, not even for a second. The Lord has already put us many times through the difficult school of Holding On to Peace. Yet it’s hard to not worry when your life or those of your loved ones seem shattered.

4. Remain Grateful.

We can always remain grateful for the love and support of God and of those who truly love and care. It helps to know that we’re not walking through things all alone. And remembering that this too shall pass, pray that God will use it to encourage someone else.

The only real way to handle the unwanted is to give it over to God.

Remembering that he can handle it far better than we ever could.

Images: Birds flying from Pixabay.

By Signora Sheila

I am a wife, mom, nonna, blogger, and missionary in Italy. But really, I'm just an ordinary woman on a journey, trying to slow down enough to hear the still small voice of God and live for all that is truly important in this world.

8 replies on “4 Helps for Dealing with the Unwanted”

“The only way to handle the unwanted is to give it over to God.” Amen, Sheila! God WILL use this hurtful time for his glory, because you are trusting him and prayerfully desiring to encourage others through your experience. I will be praying specifically about the situation too!


Thank you so much Nancy. It has been a time of going through the wringer for us – and so much more for our son. Our kids both went into marriage with “divorce is not an option.” So none of us ever expected this. It has helped to realize that in many ways this has been like a death in the family – and that a period of grieving is necessary. Thank you for your prayers, and know that I continue to pray with you over your hubby’s health struggles.


Thank you Lisanne! And I say the same about yours. I’ve been somewhat MIA from WordPress lately. It was hard enough just getting through the daily routine. But I will get back into reading blogs once again – I glean so much support and wisdom through them!

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